I Can Help, Why Not?

Season 6, Episode 12 (PSA)

President Trump met again with his panel of experts on the butt virus.

“Gentlemen, thank you for coming back on such short notice.” Trump opened. “I would like to introduce one of the pair of new experts I am adding to this panel. This is Dr. Beverly Crusher from Starfleet Medical.  She is an expert in bio technology, and infectious diseases. Dr. Crusher, I believe you know Dr. McCoy, my chief of staff Data, Dr. Molar, Dr Cochrane, and lastly Dr. Xaiver.”

“Jean Luc!” Dr. Crusher said looking at Dr. Xaiver. “When did you get in?”

“I think you have mistaken me for someone else” Dr. Xaiver said.

“Goodness, are you sure you’re not Jean Luc Picard? You sure look like him, and sound like him” Dr. Crusher said.

“No I am not, sadly, now if you would like to discuss the butt virus, I am ready to be engaged” Dr. Xaiver replied.

“Ok, well first things first.” Dr. Crusher started “We have found that natural gases spread the virus, and there are two things that really help curtail it.  The first being wearing a butt mask. Now I see all of you except Dr. Molar are not wearing a butt mask. If you want my help, I insist that you wear a butt mask”

“Finally, see someone agrees with me!” Dr. Molar said.

“Ok, fair enough. Everyone, put on a butt mask” Trump ordered them.

“Fantastic, now the next part which is not as necessary unless you actually get it. Is to stay 6.3 feet away from someone that has it” Dr. Crusher said.

“Six point three feet?” Dr. McCoy asked.  “I’m a doctor not a human ruler”

“That seems like a weird designation for distancing.” Data stated. “What is the reasoning behind this figure?”

“Just trust the science” Dr. Crusher replied.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and a scuttling.

“Ah, that would be the other expert!” Trump said.

“Hello, Hello! Thank you for having me. I’m very glad to be here to help.”

“Team, this is Dr. John A. Zoidberg” Trump said. “He may be a little, unorthodox, but he is an expert in parasites which we will explain why that is important in a moment”

“Waste not!” Zoidberg said. “For I was a parasite at one time and I have seen this when I was a young barnacle”

“So I’m confused.” Dr. Cochrane said “Why are you here? And why are you standing on a chair?”

“Please no unimportant questions Dr. Cochrane.” Trump said. “I would advise you to share you research as I have made Dr. Zoidberg head of the response to the butt virus”

“Hooray!” Dr. Zoidberg said “People are paying attention to me!”

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